Thursday, January 15, 2009

A tough afternoon I guess you could say.....

To start off, it was freezing outside. It just seems to be getting colder by the second. A big part of me is praying that for some reason school is called off tomorrow. hehe I only had 4 students in class today........but time went fast b/c I got a lot of "room work" done, you could say.

Of course, after work was my therapy session. My therapist was extremely "Wow"ed by my accomplishments this week. I can't go into details but she really told me how proud she was of me and kept encouraging me to stay strong for all the upcoming battles that still lie ahead.

She gave me a copy of a writing she had received from a co-worker today. I believe she said it was from the movie "Antoine Fisher" (never seen it, but will make a point to look it up now). So, I thought I'd share that tonight.

Who Will Cry?
"Who will cry for the little girl, lost and all alone?
Who will cry for the little girl, abandoned without her own?
Who will cry for the little girl? She cried herself to sleep.
Who will cry for the little girl? She never had for keeps.
Who will cry for the little girl? She walked the burning sand.
Who will cry for the little girl? The girl inside the woman.
Who will cry for the little girl? Who knows well hurt and pain.
Who will cry for the little girl? She died and died again.
Who will cry for the little girl? A good girl she tried to be.
Who will cry for the little girl, who cries inside of me?"

Only one person came to my mind as I sat there and read that in her office. First, I know that Christ cries for me. And yes, I know my parents and a few specific friends that have never left my side are crying for me. But it hit me on the way home who was by my side crying harder than anyone and no one call tell me any different. In fact, I had to stop and pull over for a while when it hit me. Not something I am prone to do. I know as I sit here barely able to type these words through the tears falling from my eyes that my grandfather is crying for me.......with me. I truly believe God has placed an angel by my side to walk through all of this, and not just any angel......I do believe it is him. And I can only imagine the hurt he would feel if he were on this earth right now. I saw my grandfather cry many times in my his lifetime........he was a man that had such a compassionate heart and always cared deeply about his family. He endured his own abuse while walking upon this earth I believe. Idk, guess I'm just getting over flooded with emotions and trying to make sense of them all right now. I just miss him and I feel like I let him down.

Well, I guess that's it for tonight.......I'm exhausted emotionally once again. Maybe I'll start another blog just to focus on my recovery process and keep this the "happy" place. Until later.....

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