I woke up around 12:45 am with a startling nightmare again! I jumped up in a panic and of course, turned immediately to snuggle in my man's arms. The bed was empty!!! So I got up to get a drink of water and low and behold, he was laying on the couch. I guess Fat Boy was trying to kick him out of the bed...lol But he knew the second I walked into the living room that something was up. I am so blessed to have him understand what I've went through. He doesn't tell me to get over it or preach that it's over. He just listens and holds me tight. Thank you God for such a wonderful husband. We have our moments (but they help us grow). I'm a firm believer that if you don't have struggles in a relationship then you are not growing together.
It took me quite a while to give in and succumb to sleep again. Even though he was holding me and reassuring me that it was just a bad dream. I didn't understand this startling nightmare. It just seems as though for some reason my subconscious wants to remind me that he will always have some kind of control over my life no matter how hard I fight it. He's present in scenarios that I should be comfortable and happy in....as though he's stalking me with that evil eye of his to hover fear over me.
I'm not afraid of him anymore. But I don't enjoy the anxiety that these nightmares are putting on me. All I can do is pray God's protection over my dreams and that it doesn't put any fear back in me.
Well, it's a three day week-end for me. Our son Josh is coming to visit for a few weeks. That will be enlightening and I'm sure full of surprises as well.
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