Saturday, October 6, 2012

A Restless Night

Well, I guess the nightmares have decided to come back again.  Last night was so excruciating.  I was exhausted before going to bed and had no problems falling asleep.  Much to my regret, that didn't last long.  I woke up around 12:30 feeling uneasy and was a bit hesitant to go back to sleep.  I guess my conscious must have been warning me ahead of time.  But I rolled over and cuddled up with Stitches and fell back to sleep.  I woke up around 4 a.m. with such a pounding migraine and emotional mind frame.  I knew he was present in my dream.....his evilness, his controlling attitude.  I took a few migraine pills and laid back down but never really submitted to sleep again until around 7ish.  Once again, he was in the midst of my dream. 

It puzzles me how I can go weeks and sometimes even months at a time without the evil one weighing on my mind and creeping in to invade my sleep.  It's like a reminder that what he did will always be there and he refuses to allow me to move on from it! Like he still has control over some part of me.....my mind via my dreams. 

I have so much prep work to do today for upcoming fall projects today and right now I just want to rest.  I feel anxious about the idea of even lying down now.I just have to give it to God and trust in Him.  He has helped me make it this far.


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