Saturday, September 29, 2012

Emotional Week

It's been a pretty emotional week for my family.  Brady and Brandon lost a close friend on Tuesday afternoon.  Brandon is taking it extremely hard.  As a mother, I'm struggling to explain why someone so young would be taken from us.  But that is so hard to do when I myself do not quite understand why these things happen.  I have been so overwhelmed with grief for this family.  I remember watching Trey run around the baseball field as if it were yesterday.  He was a very talented and intelligent young man. 

It's situations like this that make us all appreciate life more.  At least it should.  It also makes me hurt for my husband because of the struggles he's had with his ex over his younger two children.  That, in itself is a completely different post.  He is so thankful to have his son Josh in his life.  But he deserves an opportunity to have a relationship with his other two children.

I don't know why so many parents use their children as weapons during or after a divorce.  I am very thankful that I have never put my children in that situation.  But I do believe that those who have used their children as pawns are only hurting their children more.  No matter what their age may be.

Like I said, that's an entirely different post and if I post about it right now, I'll just get angry.  I guess the point I'm focusing on is that I'm not sure he'd even be notified if his son or daughter had something bad happen to them.  And to me, that is selfish and inconsiderate.  We never know what our lives will hold from one day to the next.  We may laugh with our children today and be placing them in the ground tomorrow.  It's sad.  But it's reality in today's world.

I am so thankful that God is a forgiving God.  You don't know how I pray for his children and ex-wife each and every night.  As well as Josh's mom.  She has struggles of her own and doesn't know Christ.  I feel obligated to lift her up because Josh is a part of her and without her, we wouldn't have Joshua in our lives.  But that goes both ways.  Without my husband,  his ex wouldn't have Johnathan or Paige in her life.  She wouldn't have the blessings from her children that she has had the opportunity to share with them over the years. 

Okay, I gotta stop because I don't want this post to be about anything else other than Trey and how much he meant to my boys.  It's going to take a lot of prayer to help them get through their grief, especially Brandon.  But it's going to take more prayer to help his mother and family to be comforted through this tragic loss.  We shouldn't have to bury our children!

Tell your children each and every day how much you love them.  No matter how old they are.  Hug them when you have that chance and cherish every moment you have with them.  Not just those happy times.....but the arguments as well.  Be thankful you have them to argue with.  Be thankful for what you do have and that God entrusted you with them.

I heard this song by Big Daddy Weave this week while I was listening to their new CD.  It spoke to what we have went through this week. 

Sorry for my rant, I am just emotional and frustrated.  And I just want everyone to have an opportunity to love their children.

If You Died Tonight

I don’t have it all together
Sometimes I find myself asking why oh why
But I know we don’t have forever
So I’d be a fool to let this moment pass us by
So at the risk of sounding crazy let me ask you
If you died tonight, where would you be
Where would your soul spend eternity
Jesus gave His life
If you’d just believe it changes everything
If you died tonight
You can call me narrow minded
But I believe that in your heart there lies the proof
And if you look down deep you’ll find it
An empty place that is pointing to the Truth
You can hear His voice inside you
Gently asking
Say I need You
I can’t live without You
Come and fill my life with Your glory, God

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